


Come Hell or High Water

by Katealexandra



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adventure, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Dark Magic, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Psychological Torture, Rewrite, Romance, Smut, The Darkness is its own entity, Torture, True Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:16:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katealexandra/pseuds/Katealexandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma never expected she'd find love, let alone fall deeply in love with Captain Hook. Fate had brought them together against all odds but the course of True Love never did run smooth. Sepations, battles and the worst trial evidenced by them both being bound to the remant of the Holy Grail, Excalibur, tied to one of the world's greatest evils. Divided again, seemingly forever, Emma refuses to give up and risks everything to embark on a dangerous quest to save her love. Come hell or high water, together, they would overcome anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stronger Together

**Author's Note:**

> This story was born in January 2016 during season 5 hiatus and was originally posted on FF.net. This was my first written work in many years and admittedly not my best. It was (is) a canon divergent from the events of 5B that wove in my headcanons. I lost steam as 5B progressed because I don't like working without knowing where I'm going which is what happened as I tried to write this parallel to the season. I actually ended abandoning this story and nothing was updated on it since June 6, 2016. After 365 days, I decided to come back to this story to finish it so I could work on my other stories unburdened. But it needed some major changes if I was going to be able to finish and be proud of my work. 
> 
> All that being said, I deleted the 12 chapters I had posted here and have revamped this story, no longer afraid of finding my voice to tell the story I want. This still has a lot of the plot from 5B, but I expanded on my headcanons. To those who read this before, a lot will look the same but this new version is longer and more well rounded than the original. For those that are taking a chance for the first time, thank you. For any interested in reading the original version of this story, it is available on FF.net under the same title and username.
> 
> And while I have almost completed this story, after today I will be posting 1 chapter every Wednesday until it's complete simply to allow for editing and beta reading to be completed.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story. It's going to be a wild ride.
> 
> Lots of love - Kate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is story gets explicit really fast. If that's not your cup of tea, sorry not sorry - this story is tagged appropriately. Any additional warnings may be given before a chapter if I feel it is warranted.

**Storybrooke - Present**

The wind blew leaves into the hallway as Emma threw open the side door to her house. It was supposed to be their house, she thought ruefully, not that they had ever lived here together. _Not that you ever will,_ a gleeful voice whispered in the corner of her mind. Emma shook her head and tried to focus on Killian and what he would do now that he knew she had selfishly bound him to Excalibur and shared the powers of the Dark One with him. She had done so all because she couldn't bear to lose the man she loved. Again. It would figure that things would play out so horribly when she had finally broken down her walls, ready for a true and lasting commitment to share this home and all the endless possibilities a future with Killian would mean.

 _"What future? There's no future for us now!"_ He had shouted at her, his eyes wide and angry over her betrayal. She couldn't bring herself to reflect on the rest of their exchange. He had taken the knowledge of his plan, of _it’s plan_ , along with the dreamcatchers holding everyone else's memories, leaving her with every other painful part of their exchange burned into her mind. He was lost to her, the price for the magic she had used to bring him back from the brink of death. All magic comes with a price, dearie. Hatred and despair coiled in Emma’s heart at the taunt from the voice growing louder in her head which only served to feed the strength of the demon she didn’t know why she bothered to try to resist any further.

Emma knew that her parents would normally tell her to have hope, but clouded by the Darkness, it was hard to see how it was even possible. Ultimately being the Savior meant restoring happy endings for everyone. She knew there had only been one choice to try to give Killian a chance at a happy ending, even if it was a selfish choice, at least he was alive, or so she had originally thought. She had turned him into the thing he hated for so many years so he had shut her out in his pain, letting the Darkness in, and now she was truly cut off from everyone she loved. Emma simply felt hopelessly lost and alone. Hell of a Savior she was! Unable to sleep, unable to use magic because of Zelena's cuff, she lay down on the couch and did the only thing left to do: cry.

* * *

   
**3 Weeks Ago - Camelot**

Killian couldn't believe Emma had ignored him and tethered him to Excalibur. He'd begged her not to do it. He would rather be dead than be the Dark One.

"You know you'd really rather survive. Surviving is what you do. Now you can't be killed, dearie. So I would say you owe the Dark Swan," the apparition drawled as it took on the shape of a much hated crocodile.

"Go away Crocodile! I know what you want and I will not give into to you!" Killian screamed. And for the briefest of moments, he thought he'd rid himself of the voices in his head.

"You want to embrace the gift you've been given. You _will_ embrace it and I'll be here to guide you until you do."

Rumplestiltskin's personage loomed before him. Taunting him. Tempting him to embrace it. To fully become that which he despised most of all. But he had loved Emma, even as she had become the Dark One and she had felt this alluring, seductive pull of the Darkness. Emma. She had done this to them. _She’s to blame, dearie._ What possible future could they have now as Dark Ones? He had begged her to let him die and she just couldn't listen, bloody stubborn woman. As loathe as he was to admit it, the Crocodile was right that he was glad he had survived even though he wasn't happy about the way it came about.

"Fuck, don't agree with it, fight it!" he chastised himself. Killian lost complete track of time as he wrestled with demons. The voices kept changing as each incarnation of the Dark One coaxed him closer to acceptance.

"You'll be able to take your vengeance. We have the means to do the one thing you've spent centuries trying to do. Kill Rumplestiltskin," one voice offered.

"I know you're lying. How am I to get my vengeance when I'm here and Gold is in Storybrooke," Killian questioned, his voice echoing through the copse he had lingered in for the last few hours.

"Might I suggest a Dark Curse. Quite effective," Rumplestiltskin's form proclaimed as it appeared in front of him once more.

"And crush the heart of the one I love the most to enact it?" No," he cried, pushing the thought away. "I won't kill Emma!"

"There are loopholes. Always are. We can help you. We have the knowledge and power you need. You've lost too many people you care about because you didn't have the power to save them. Think of Milah. Think of Liam. Think about what you would have done if you had had the power to avenge them or better yet, the power to save them,” the Darkness appealed, digging deeper into Killian’s mind.

Killian thought of everyone and everything he had lost in his life, the hardship he had endured, but thoughts of Emma and everything he had gained since she had come into his life were stronger. He had love. Not just hers but Henry's as well. He had family and friends that he had never expected to find. It was then he realized that the voices had stopped.

He knew exactly where she was and as he pictured her in his mind he was suddenly right in front of her. His heart ached at the sight of her.

"Killian, you're okay!" She exclaimed. "It worked!" Killian could feel the Darkness in Emma, calling to him, or rather it’s other half within him.

"Swan, you did this to me, to us," he breathed barely above a whisper. "I haven't forgiven you yet."

This was partly true. He was still mad at her, the Darkness silently fed that feeling in an attempt to push him down the dark path, and he was struggling against it with all his might.

"You can forgive me. The man I love, the good man, is still in there. We have to fight the Darkness. We are more powerful together. You know it. You feel it. Our love is greater than this Darkness and together we will come out of this. You just have to let me in, Killian. I love you. And all sins can be forgiven if someone loves you,” she professed. She stepped closer to him and when he didn't stop her, she reached for him and he pulled her into his embrace.

"Emma," he said between kisses. "The Darkness recedes when you're right here."

"Killian, stay with me. Please?" Emma whispered into his ear.

Killian felt Emma pressed so closely against him that he couldn't think about letting her go. He closed his eyes and pressed his nose to her neck, kissing a trail from the nape of her neck to her ears. She closed her eyes too, one hand gripping his hair and the other on his jacket, pulling him closer. When they both opened their eyes, they realized that they had transported themselves to the room above Granny's.

Killian looked around the familiar room, a large bed at the center and a wooden chest in front of the bed that contained additional bedding. Opposite the bed was a fireplace with two mismatched armchairs placed in front of it. He had lived in this room for a time when he brought Emma back from New York, at least until Ursula restored the Jolly Roger to Storybrooke. This place had felt something like home, for however brief a time.

"The connection of our magic and our love is stronger we both when we are together. Can you feel it?” Emma inquired, her jade eyes locked to his.

Killian had felt it as sure as he felt his own heartbeat. As sure as he felt her heart beating in time with his own. They had been forged anew in an abhorrent way, connected now in a deeper way than their love already had bound them. When he turned his attention back to his Swan the whispers faded again. Together they could hold it back. Together they could survive this evil.

Middlemist petals lay on the floor and on the bed with candles floating throughout the room.

Emma looked into his bright blue eyes. She thought for a split second about the fact that she had magically hidden Excalibur and she might have accidentally used it on Killian when she asked him to stay with her. She pushed it from her mind and focused on how she felt. How he made her feel with his hook pressed into her back, gently pulling her closer, his hand on waist and his body melding with hers.

"Emma, love," he asked, his hand slipping into her jacket, nudging it down off her shoulders. "What's with all the flowers?"

She had magicked the petals and candles into the room because she had wanted a romantic setting. She pushed away from him and she registered the flash of disappointment in his face. She completed the task of taking off her jacket and plopped down on the bed to pull off her boots. She stood back up, still wearing her skirt and corset, looking up into his eyes once more.

He stood speechless in front of her, seemingly struck by her actions, his eyes a deeper blue then she had ever witnessed.

"Emma, are you certain that this is what you want?" Killian's wanted to make sure it was Emma who wanted him, not the Darkness.

"Killian, I love you." She waved her hand abruptly and Killian realized he was clad in only his shirt and breeches. His jacket, vest and shoes discarded on the floor nearby.

Killian advanced and circled behind her. She gasped as cold steel slipped behind the strings of her corset and they were ripped away with his hook. He forced her skirt and underwear down to her feet and she gingerly stepped out of them. Still holding her corset to her breast, she let it fall and turned to him. As she turned to him, he touched his hand to her hair and restored her flowing blond tresses, watching them fall down to cover her beautifully pert breasts.

"Killian? I need you."

"Aye, love," was all he could manage to say as he took his shirt and breeches off. He moved to take off his hook as he had done on previous occasions, but she stopped him.

"Don't," she said quietly. "I love all of you."

Gods, she was amazing.

She stepped into his waiting arms. He wrapped his left arm tightly around her waist, cupped her face in his hand pulling her towards him for a kiss. She trailed her fingers down his stomach and lower to his erection. He stopped breathing and broke off their kissing for a moment as she grasped him and began moving her hand up and down the length of him. She flashed him a wicked smile and leaned in to devour his lips as her hand continued caressing him.

"Emma... love... you must stop. I .. I can't," he said in short gasps. He waved his hand and they were lying on the bed. Another wave and he had handcuffed her to the headboard.

"Killian, what the hell?" she shouted.

"Think of this as payback, love, for every time you've chained me up. Just relax. I think you'll enjoy this. I've soundproofed the room so feel free to scream if you must," he urged, raising his eyebrows in the most seductive fashion, a trademark of his Emma loved.

She glanced into his eyes, feeling exhilarated to be bound, naked and laid out for his pleasure. She squirmed but he held her in place as he suckled her breasts, pausing to kiss just under her breasts before continuing his descent down to her navel. She could feel the building of tension in every fiber of her being. As the kisses reached the triangle of blond hair between her legs he stopped, laughing at her growl of frustration. He pushed her legs open using his hook and kissed her inner thighs as he slipped one finger then another into her moist center, keeping the rounded side of his hook pressed against her clit, moving it in excruciatingly slow circles. Emma was already so wet for him but she could tell he was determined to give her as much pleasure as he could, to draw it out as long as he was able.

His fingers slipped in and out of her, rough fingers feeling perfect against her slick folds. Emma went wild the moment he brushed his thumb over her clit, his hook scratching along her outer thigh leaving a thin red line that disappeared almost as fast as he traced it. The pain and pleasure together was too much and she screamed his name loudly as his fingers coaxed her to come.

"Killian, my love, I need more..."

He pushed another finger inside and used his tongue to bring her to the very edge of destruction. He stopped for a moment and watched as Emma bucked up from the bed, trying to escape, but the cuffs and his hooked arm across her stomach made real movement difficult. He pushed a fourth finger inside her and she let out a strangled cry. He covered her with his mouth again, working his fingers and tongue in tandem to bring her pleasure until she finally came crashing around his fingers.

Withdrawing his finger from her core, he released Emma from the magical restraints. He kissed her inner thigh again and she squealed. He moved to position his cock at her entrance, but stopped himself. He wanted her so much, but if she asked him to stop he would. Even if it killed him. It felt like weeks, rather than days, since they had lain together in the field of Middlemist and they had no protection then or now. He didn't want her to regret their lovemaking or the consequences that might follow.

"Only if you are sure..."

"Oh, ... please... yes," she begged as she drew him into her; small, short gasps escaping her throat until the moment he was fully seated within her. He began moving, his breathing as harsh and uneven as hers. Emma looked him in the eyes as she meet him thrust for thrust. In their lovemaking there was nothing except Emma and Killian. No Darkness. Just love.

"Emma!" he whispered into her ear, his hand on the right ride of her face while shifting his other arm under her back causing her to arch away from the point of his hook.

Killian felt her tighten around him as her body began to orgasm and he pulled back to watch her face. Emma looked at him intently, her green eyes dark with pleasure. He loved this woman so much and didn't know what he had done to deserve someone like her.

"Killian, please do that again. Put your hand on my face and whisper in my ear again," she demanded.

"As you wish, my princess." Killian growled in her left ear as his hand caressed the right side of her face. He slid his fingers into her hair and growled into her ear again, loving that she was so turned on by his voice.

Emma could feel the tension building within her again. The sound of his voice thrilled her to no end. He could make her come by just talking and had done so before today if she was honest with herself; he was always a talker during sex and Emma loved it. She could barely catch her breath. Killian was now whispering into her ear ( _come on darling, so gorgeous, so wet for me, such a wanton princess aren't you?_ ) as he thrust slowly, pulling back so they were almost separated and thrusting back hard. She screamed each time she felt him push as far as he could.

"You like being fucked like this? Don't you, your highness?" Eyebrows arched, looking her in the eyes. When she didn't immediately answer him, Killian pulled out and teased her entrance with his cock. He moved so that the tip of his cock rubbed against her swollen clit. She screamed, sensitive from her prior pleasure.

"Yes! Damn you, pirate! I can't take this anymore!"

Neither could he. He repositioned himself and thrust back into her. She was soaked and he moved easily within her tight walls. He thrust as hard as he could. He leaned down and slid his fingers into her hair, tugging her hair. She hauled his face to hers, devouring him in a kiss.

"Harder!" she moaned, her head drifting back to rest on the pillow. He snapped his hips faster, as she commanded, and Emma matched his pace, moving with utter abandon. She kept her eyes open, staring into his sea blue eyes. She was drowning in them and she knew she was lost. The fire and emotion, the love, there would have been overwhelming as hell to the Old Emma. She would have been ready to bolt. But she was done running; she could never imagine leaving him again.

"Oh, Killian, come with me," she managed in a barely audible sound as she shattered around him. _Together_.

"Emma!" he groaned. She felt his release pour into her as she continued to convulse with her orgasm. He kept moving within her until he was thoroughly spent.

Killian collapsed on Emma briefly before he tried to move. He didn't want to crush her but she held him to her, unwilling to let him go.

They lay entwined for minutes or hours, neither of them knew. Neither cared too much as time seemed to pass differently because of their immortality. Emma and Killian clung to each other, showing their love over and over again. As Dark Ones they didn't need sleep, however together in each other's arms, sated and in love, they slept the most peaceful sleep either of them had experienced in ages. A peace they both knew, unfortunately, would never last.


	2. Before the Storm

_Confusion filled Emma's mind as she looked around, finding she was standing in the middle of Main Street in Storybrooke. How did they end up here again?  A curse, her mind prompted, and as much as she rankled against the thought, Emma knew it to be the truth. She combed through her mind with her magic but couldn't see who had cast it. She saw flashes of Henry, Killian, her parents, Regina and Robin. A lake. Nimue. Hooded figures. None of the images lasted long enough to give her a clear picture of what was going on. Poised by the lake, Emma felt an overwhelming sense of dread wash over her; she couldn't stop the scene before her, she was restrained by old and powerful magic. Trembling from shock, she felt certain her family was going to die. How? Why? She perceived a crushing sense that this was her fault. Unanticipatedly, Emma felt a deep, jagged pain. Pain unlike anything she had ever experienced. Attempts at healing herself were completely futile, nothing worked to stem the agony. Emma furiously traced her hands over her abdomen though she was unable to locate the wound inflicting the pain before her whole world went black._

Emma awoke screaming, calming as she realized she was still in Killian's room at Granny's, Killian's sleeping form in the bed next to her. Frustration and fear burned within her because the harder she tried to glimpse beyond the bits and pieces she had seen, the less it all made sense. It had to have been a dream. It wasn't real, she told herself, it was nothing but a jumble.

"Oh dearie, it is quite real. The future is a puzzle. In time, you will learn to separate what can be from what will be."

Rumplestiltskin reclined in the chair across the room, reptilian eyes shining in the dim moonlight that illuminated the room. The demon in her mind appearing in semi-corporeal form in front of her never ceased to unnerve her. His taunt carried no hint of a lie which frightened Emma to no end.

"Be gone, spirit!" Killian commanded as he sat up next to her, shaking off the vestiges of sleep. He hadn't seen what she had seen but he'd felt her terror and when she screamed he had heard it in his sleep but had been unable to wake, unable to move, something which he suspected was intentional on the part of the Darkness. He too was relieved when the demon disappeared.

"It's okay, love. The demon is gone. It's just us,” Killian promised, wrapping her up in his arms as she cried softly. He kissed her forehead, whispering promises to keep her safe. Killian never wanted to let her go and held her tight as she drifted back to sleep. Sometime later he realized he too had dozed off because he awoke to green eyes watching his.

"You look so peaceful when you sleep. I want to stay like this. I don't want to leave this room."

"Emma, I think we need to come back to reality." As much as he regretted saying it, they couldn't stay here forever.

"Where is Excalibur? We need to join it with the dagger so we can destroy the Darkness. Once this evil is destroyed, we can figure out how to get home,” Killian proposed.

"It disappeared shortly after you did," she lied, not ready to give him the sword. She could feel the Darkness influencing her to lie but couldn't stop the words from coming out. Emma had hoped to keep the Darkness at bay longer than they had. She had committed to the Darkness when she bound its power to Killian and given it access to her in ways she had resisted before. Now that she had opened the door, it was harder to keep the Darkness from flooding out the light.

Reluctantly she stood up from the bed and in a puff of smoke, her hair was once again a silvery white, swept back in a bun at the nape of her neck and naked body was covered from chest to foot in black leather. Her leather pants clung to her ass and a black leather jacket covered her chest and torso, falling away to the sides below her hips.

Killian magicked his clothes on as well, a small part of him relishing the power he had now. He conjured a black leather vest and pants, similar to the ones he knew sat in drawer on the Jolly Roger back in Storybrooke, along with a heavy long coat with a familiar weight to it. Killian was pleased to find, as he smoothed his palm over the leather, it felt exactly the same as the one he had worn and conditioned for centuries. Killian regarded Emma and thought about how different she looked now. His missed his Emma. The way she looked before. Although she was still beautiful now, just in a darker, more seductive way.

They joined hands and transported themselves to the woods just beyond Granny's. Aware they would soon have to face others, Killian urgently ensnared her in his arms, he lips caressing hers as his tongue demanded entrance. Killian kissed her as though there was no tomorrow, because he simply couldn't get enough. She was as air to him, essential to his survival now.

Emma finally broke off the kissing, “Alright, enough distractions," she said backing up a little. "I'll scout our path." She felt compelled to establish that she could hide Excalibur somewhere nearby, somewhere safe, until she could think of what to do next. Of how to reveal her possession of it to her lover.

"I'll go replenish our water supply,” Killian could feel Emma was hiding something but said nothing further, hoping she would chose to confide in him without him probing about it or pushing her. The minute he parted from Emma he could feel the Darkness surged to life in the back of his mind. It took to mocking him because he had chosen to physically fetch the water instead of summoning it. He focused on the task at hand, certain a few moments alone would not do too much harm.

Killian had just begun to walk off in the opposite direction of Emma, when he heard new voices, loud whispers in his head, and a physical pull in the pit of his stomach that felt as though he was being dragged, though he knew not where. He wondered out loud what was going on, receiving an unsolicited answer from the demon.

"That's the sound of the dagger singing to the sword. If you can hear that, that means Excalibur is quite close."

"No. That's impossible. Emma said it disappeared" he asserted, trying not to let the demon confuse or twist him to give in to it.

"Wake up, dearie! Your lover is lying!" Rumplestiltskin shouted, blocking Killian from moving forward. "She has the sword!" Killian stepped around the former Dark One, realizing as he moved that such action was asinine because the Rumplestiltskin in front of him was not real.

"Why would she lie to me?" Killian challenged, trying to talk himself out this blatant manipulation.

"So she can control you! Not that she needs Excalibur. She's quite good at doing that all on her own." Rumplestiltskin sneered, a demented smirk on his face.

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" Killian did not like the implication that their passion and all that they had shared in time since they each emerged as a Dark One had been, in some way, tainted by the Darkness or driven by the Darkness' need to play games. To use sex as a way to control them, make them more compliant to its trickery and manipulation. 

"YOU! Get out of here!" Emma bellowed as she care running up from the path she had disappeared down only a handful of minutes ago. 

" _Oh_ , we were just talking about _you_!” Rumple giggled, turning to Killian, “Why don't you ask her for yourself?" Rumple commanded, looking back and forth between Emma and Killian, glee visible on his scaly features.

"Ask me what? Hook? What the hell is going on?" Emma frowned. 

"Emma, do you know where Excalibur is?"

"Killian, Rumple is manipulating you. That's what he does,” Emma breathed out, circumventing answering the question directly.

Killian could hear the voices and sounds louder than before as she moved closer to him. Killian felt himself losing the strength their love had given him. The Darkness was trying to weaken him, _them_ , and It was winning the battle. He tried to fight his ill temper towards Emma, knowing that the Darkness fed on the feeling, but it had taken root in the strength of his fury and disappointment.

"Are you lying to me? I can hear it calling to the dagger, Emma. Do you have Excalibur?" Killian could barely think as the Darkness shifted into his thoughts deeper than before, painfully invading his mind, disturbing his equilibrium and destroying his resistance. Killian knew the answer before she could voice it, leaving him struggling to combat the Darkness as it practically danced triumphant at the fractures it had authored between them.

"Yes," Emma confessed, summoning the sword.

"Did you use it on me?" Killian felt betrayal engulf his heart. Killian, for all his experience at sea, was overwhelmed with the feeling as though he was on a sinking ship, one submerging so quickly all hope of survival was lost, leaving no refuge but violent, untamed seas in which to drown.

"No, of course not. I was never..." Emma tried, failing to assuage his heart.

"Then why not tell me the truth," Killian bid, interrupting her before she could lie again. "Were you afraid I'd ask you for it? You never planned on giving it to me, did you?"

"I did it to protect you. You told me yourself you were not strong enough to resist the darkness."

"Which is why I begged you not to turn me into the bloody Dark One in the first place! But you went and did it anyway!"  


"You were dying!" Emma sobbed.

Killian ignored her sobbing, seething over her betrayal, a myriad of other emotions overwhelming him. The Darkness had firmly entrenched itself within Killian's mind and he was grappling with the fact the anger he experienced in response did nothing but embolden the demon within him to seek control of him. The Darkness proclaimed that he was weak, powerless and foolish for trusting anyone and he was starting to take those feelings to heart. It had almost won.

For its part, that was all the Darkness wanted. It wanted to survive and as long as Killian and Emma stood in It's way, survival wasn't a guarantee. The Darkness was stronger than love, stronger than any other being in time immemorial and it was so close to achieving it's goal. It just had to destroy True Love first.

"You know the worst part, Swan? When your own mother wanted to use the dagger to stop you from crushing Merida's heart, I'm the one that convinced her that you needed to make that decision on your own. There's never been a time that I didn't believe in you. Where I didn't trust you! But you clearly don't believe in me anymore, so how am I supposed to fight this? 

"Killian..." she begged, large, ugly tears streaming down her face as she faced defeat, ultimately at her own hands.  


"Don't!" holding his hand up to her, he transported himself away from her, the Darkness rejoicing in its success at finally driving its hosts away from each other. It had twisted emotions and actions, all to confuse the man, making his anger the priority, exploiting their love would allow it to finally be free. Darkness would reign supreme.

* * *

Emma kept sobbing, unsure what to do now. She transported herself to the field of Middlemist in a fit of melancholy, unable to stop the Darkness from weakening her just a little bit further in that moment. She singled out a flower remembering the prior occasions she had been in this field. One happy day where they had leisurely made love with the Middlemist surrounding them, unburdened from the demons in her mind. And the miserable day that she decided to make him the Dark One rather then let him die. The latter was one of the worst moments in her life. She was inundated with the feeling she had in her sleep. She sensed the Darkness’ hold on her slip, focusing in on Killian, believing him to be the weaker of the two of them, the easiest target to break. In this moment, Emma could barely feel the tendrils of the imp in her thoughts, feeling it had mostly left her alone as it focused destroying him. That this was happening was all her fault and she had to be the one to fix it. If she could fix it, if she could save him from the fate she had inflicted upon him, then she could still save their happy ending. Their love. She sat forming her plan as she vowed to do whatever it took to save him. 

* * *

Killian reappeared at Merlin's tower. He needed to find Merlin. The Darkness needed him for its plan and Killian couldn't fight it, It's dark magic curled into every part of his mind. He had given into weakness, had opened the door to the abyss and stood now on the brink. Power is strength, the voices assured him. Thoughts of his vengeance filled him and he knew now what he had to do to get it. He didn't even have to think about what spell to use, it was right there in his mind: the knowledge of every Dark One for him to access at will. First he needed Merlin so that they could get back to Storybrooke. Then he'd finally take his vengeance against the Crocodile. He was the reason they were in this bloody mess in the first place.

* * *

Emma acutely felt Killian's use of intense dark magic but she couldn't sense where he was. The Darkness was blocking her out. She felt something pull at her as though a part of him called out to her, but she could feel the strength of the Darkness more. She knew what he was about to do and was not certain she could face him to stop it. Killian's anger and need for vengeance fueled his acceptance of the Darkness rather than love. He was losing the fight. He could end up being consumed by the Darkness. She paused, unsure if the path before her was right. She heard the whispers, trying to sway her course. She looked into the future, still only seeing bits and pieces of what might come to pass. The Darkness wanted her to use the sword and summon him. She shook her head but It forced her to remove the cloaking spell from Excalibur.

"Dark One, I summon thee," she decreed, holding Excalibur in front of her, unwilling complying with the request the Darkness had made. Middlemist surrounding her, she watched as he appeared before her.

Killian was quite pissed she was summoning him, not giving him a choice once again. It left a bitter taste in his mouth because in everything he had always made sure it was her choice and she had taken his from him. Then she lied to him and tried to control him. So in a moment of weakness he pledged to give the Darkness all that it required of him. In hindsight, he thought about what this meant for Emma, her family and felt regret for what he had done. He never wanted to hurt Emma or her family. The Darkness was in control now though, guiding his actions, pushing his love and compassion away behind a door that the Darkness controlled. It was trying to snuff out the light within him but it couldn't do so completely for some reason and so it had chosen to lock away the things that kept the light going. Killian was starting to feel less and less like himself and knew now he was about to end up behind a door in his own mind watching the Darkness use his form to accomplish its ends.

Killian realized he had appeared in front of Emma and words were coming out of his mouth but he wasn't the one thinking or saying them. The Darkness was drawing on his memories, the ones that told It he didn't like being controlled and what had almost happened the last time he had stupidly fallen under Rumple's control. He watched Emma as she explained why she did what she had. His hesitation had been all the Darkness had needed to lock him permanently behind the door it had created.

He heard Emma say that she loved him and put her hand in his. He fought to push back the Darkness. He managed to break free for a moment.

"I love you too,” he pronounced, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her as hard and as long as he could. He didn't know how long he'd have before the Darkness shoved him back behind the door in his own mind. He wasn't quite sure why the Darkness couldn’t obliterate him, but he could sense something was different in the way the Darkness has chosen to deal with him than it had with others before him. He felt his control slipping and in a blink of an eye he was back in his prison. 

Emma felt relief as they walked back to Granny's hand in hand. She had faith that together they could overcome anything. Even being the Dark Ones. Emma shuddered as the feeling from her dream returned. She still could not shake the foreboding shadow she saw when she looked at the future. She knew she shouldn't use dark magic but it seemed harmless when there was something looming and she couldn't quite pinpoint it. She knew the voices pushed her to look harder and further into the future. It was hard to ignore as the voices urged her forward in time but her grasp on Killian's hand felt more of a tether to reality than her dagger and that gave her strength like nothing else could

It only took a few minutes of walking before she saw her parents and Regina standing in the shade of the tall trees that surrounded Granny's. They stared at her and Killian, shock etched deep in their faces and no words to express what they were thinking.

Emma took a few moments to reassure them that their appearance looked far worse than it actually was and that they were fine. Killian exchanged a few brusque words with her father about getting Merlin and headed inside the diner. She felt the loss of his touch in her soul and then she felt the stabbing pain again. The world in front of her went dark as the Darkness showed her what she had sensed before.

She was suddenly back in Storybrooke with the knowledge that Killian had been the one to cast the Dark Curse. Only it wasn't Killian anymore. He surrendered to the Darkness briefly and had been locked away, the Dark One fully in control now of Killian's form. 

_"The steepest of prices!"_ Merlin's voice echoed in her head as images swirled around in her mind.

Emma tried not to let her panic show on her face but she could see the concern in her parents' eyes. She had to do what came next alone. She waved her hand at her parents and Regina, freezing them in place. She walked at a calm, but quick pace, still holding out a small amount of hope that Killian was still himself and not a pawn of the Darkness. Love had blinded her to reality; she really hoped her vision was wrong.


	3. In the Dark

Emma reached for the door to Granny's, sensing it was locked she used her magic to unlock it and walked inside. To her horror she saw Nimue standing next to Killian. Killian was holding a heart. Merlin's heart, the sorcerer frozen by command of the one who held his heart. In her panic she almost missed the surge of dark magic and then unbearable agony (which she sure as hell couldn’t miss) as the Darkness clawed from the recesses of her mind in an attempt to seize reign over her. Emma fought with all her might to maintain control, forcing the Darkness back. The voices of the monster commenced shrill cries of rage overlapping with a cacophonous chanting of incantations inside her skull but her desire to protect Killian, her love for him, was strong enough to allow her to shut it out and focus, her will firm as iron.

"You played me? You played us?” Emma growled, heart thumping hard in her chest as she realized her worst fears. The Darkness made a mistake in showing It’s hand, a mistake in trying to take control of her mind. Fueled by love she resisted, her mind blessedly unclouded by the demon’s thoughts and distractions, at least for the moment. Emma knew the Darkness had taken over Killian's mind and body and, in the moment it had happened, kept her distracted so she would immediately notice. Enough time to give the Darkness the advantage, in an attempt to put Emma on the defensive to see how far she was willing to go to be free of this curse. The Darkness was banking on her not being willing to harm Killian to destroy It. It knew them, their weaknesses inside and out and had out maneuvered them in a game of chess she had been too self-absorbed to see.

"Once you lied about Excalibur, all bets were off. Your pirate crumbled under the weight of his emotions over your betrayal. It was so easy to pray on his insecurities and fears, so easy to use him for my own purpose. Much like I have used many of you pathetic creatures. For thousands of years, I was trapped in the night, in the shadows of this world, and when Nimue,” he gestured to the woman next to him, “corrupted the holy gift of the Grail by crushing a heart, taking a life in revenge, she invited me into her heart and gave me everlasting life so long as the curse remains. You, Savior, came closer than any before you in destroying me completely. You and your foolish, lovesick puppy dog, Killian Jones. Closer even than this fool Merlin who bound the power of the Darkness to remains of the Holy Grail in an attempt to stem my power. The world began in darkness and in darkness it shall end, you, for all your efforts, cannot stop me.”

Killian’s voice articulated the words. Her head told her that the man in front of her was Killian, but her heart told her something else. She knew him, the man she loved. This felt similar to when Gold controlled Killian’s heart and Emma had known, felt it in her core, something wasn't quite right. The difference between that time and this was that that Killian was still able to fight back against control however this abomination wasn't him, not even an inkling of him lingered for her to se. Both times she ignored her instincts, Gold had been mere seconds from crushing Killian’s heart which left Emma facing a stark realization she had almost been too late (Thank goodness Belle had saved him that day) and this occasion her hesitation to act had truly cost her, no… had cost them both dearly. The thing in front of her, bearing the countenance of her lover, was something she feared: this was only the Dark One.

"Go back to whence you came. Back to stone," the Dark One addressed Excalibur. "Now no one can ever control me again."

"Please don't do this," Emma begged. "And you, why are you doing this?" Looking at Nimue who stood proud beside Killian’s body, Emma felt intense rage building.

"Don't be naive, Emma. You know Dark Ones never do something without getting something in return,” the Prime Dark One scoffed.

"What is that?” Emma was loathe to even ask, but she needed to know, even if she had to stare down the demon to find answers.

"You're still a Dark One. You want the same thing,” Nimue sneered.

Vague and noncommittal an answer if there ever was one, Emma opened her mind trying to determine what she needed to know, hearing the voices whisper about the lake in Storybrooke from her vision and a way to beat even death itself. A life for a life: every Dark One ever returned to terrorize the world, free from the tether that limited them, they would reign unchecked and immortal. Darkness engulfing all realms for all eternity. Emma felt as though she was going to vomit from the overwhelming images of the future in which all Darkness returned to snuff out the light forever. Fuck that, Emma thought, no way she'd let them escape hell and destroy her home.

"No! I won't let you." Emma turned to Killian and cupped his face in her hands. She willed her message to reach him. "Killian, please, I know you are still in there. Don't let them do this, you have to fight. You once told me that I was your happy ending. If you crush this heart we'll lose that."

"Killian Jones isn't in charge here anymore," the Dark One drawled. He leaned close to her as though he was going to kiss her and stopped just in front of her face. Then he crushed Merlin's heart.

Emma turned to watch as Merlin crumpled. Just like Graham. It was devastating to watch as the man she loved was reduced to the Dark One's pawn. She knew tears streamed down her face at this point. Dark Hook had deposited the remains of Merlin's heart into a simmering potion. Merlin knew Killian would cast the Dark curse. He had expected that he would die. That was the only reason why he would be brewing the Dark Curse. Emma felt sadness at the thought that Merlin had known she could not save him. It was her fault he was dead.

"It's over, Emma."

"Killian, I know you are still in there, this demon couldn’t destroy you, otherwise I'd feel that. If you can hear me, remember I told you that I'd never abandon you. I'm not going to start now."

  
"Well I'm sorry, love. Once a curse has been enacted, you can't stop it,” the demon laughed.

She needed to fix this mess and she had to think of something fast. Emma thought for a moment about the storybook and the time that her mother drank a potion and removed memories of her father. It changed her personality. Maybe if she removed the memories of the last 2 days, Killian's personality would resurface and lock the Dark One down. It was a tenuous idea at best. Her gut told her this was doomed to fail. Something would eventually trigger the memory at some point or another and then she would be dealing with the Darkness. The Darkness that would be wearing the skin of the man she loved.

"I may not be able to stop it, but I can make you forget why you cast it." With a snap of her finger she rendered him unconscious and then summoned a dreamcatcher, pulling his memories of the Dark One. "Or that you were even the Dark One in the first place."

Emma felt heartsick at the sight of Killian's body lying on the diner floor. She had watched him die. Twice! Once was devastating and it had been in an alternate reality and thus not truly real. The second time she had just truly lowered her walls and let him in and trusted when he had said the future was nothing to fear. He couldn't have been more wrong because a few short hours later she watched as he bled out on the floor of Granny's diner in the middle of the damn Enchanted Forest. She threw herself into the merciless dark to save him though she had maintained a strong hold on who she was and refused to let the Darkness fully rule her.

"When you wake, you'll be the man you were, the man I love, the man who loves me." She pressed a kiss to his lips. She lingered there a few moments before standing, realizing she had moments to finish hijacking the Dark Curse and make it her own.

"Clever, dearie. You'll have to do more than that to make sure he doesn't remember he is a Dark one," Rumple's figure said looming in the corner. Emma was almost glad to see this more familiar version of the Dark One, this impression of Rumplestiltskin.

Emma summoned her family, unconscious, to the diner floor and then used the dreamcatcher to take their memories from the last six weeks.

"I need to erase the memories of everyone who could know I turned Killian into a Dark One,” Emma sighed, resigning herself to her path.

"Right, because no one could possible understand it. Why trust your family to help when you can do it ALL yourself?" Rumple queried.

"This is my fault. I'm the one who's going to fix this." Emma knew the Darkness wanted her alone, afraid of what she might do should she seek help and trust her family. She should go to those she loved, just as she had told Killian. It was impossible to resist the urge to go it alone, the Darkness within her was using all its considerable power to keep its hold on her. The Darkness knew she put up her walls and pushed people away when she was afraid. And right now Emma was absolutely terrified of the consequences of her actions. It was exploiting her weakness because it wanted her to fail. She wouldn't - no, couldn't fail

"By using Dark magic to add a memory wipe to the curse? But you won't like where it leads. Or worse; you will," Rumple taunted. She added the dreamcatcher to the curse and walked out of the kitchen before she could choose differently.

Emma knelt on the cold floor of the diner and cradled Killian's head in her lap. She brushed the hair back off of his face and reminded herself that she had only just begun. The worst felt as though it was yet to come. She would have to deceive Killian and her whole family to keep them from discovering her secret. She had figured out what she'd need to do to destroy the Darkness once and for all. She hoped she'd have the strength to do what needed to be done.

* * *

 

**Present - Storybrooke**

"Emma!"

Emma heard her parents and Regina enter the house. She remained where she was, too emotionally exhausted to move.

"Emma, what happened?" Her mother asked as she knelt beside the couch.

"Mom...," she said with a sob. Sitting up and hugging her mother, she felt a spark of hope within her. It helped her combat the Darkness, gave her a boost of strength to handle the pain she struggled against, the almost crippling physical pain the Darkness inflicted on her every second of every day trying to break her.

Being immortal she was impervious to death but pain, well, pain was another story altogether. She was certainly no stranger to pain, having experienced some messed up circumstances in her life, but constant torture she endured was a whole other level of hell. Sometimes it felt as though the Darkness was ripping her to shreds, worse were the days she was left alone, waiting for it to disturb the peace and the agony to begin anew. Some days her hold against the Dark was tenuous at best but knowing she had to be strong for herself and Killian, that had kept her going. Now this Darkness was free to rule Killian again, it was less focused on her.

Mary Margaret didn't say anything. She just held her daughter as she wept. Emma needed her mom, a hot cocoa and a good cry, hoping that maybe once she shared the burden of what had happened she wouldn't feel so lost. Her mother seemed to know this and after she helped Emma move to the other couch, she disappeared to the kitchen for a few minutes and returned with the desired cocoa. Regina sat with her and her mother sat across from her in an armchair.

Her father came back in the room and informed them that the dreamcatchers were gone. He hadn't stuck around for very long after she had said they _were_ in the garage and so he did not hear her say that Killian, well Dark Hook as she coined the monster, had taken them and disabled her magic.

Emma decided had to fight the urge to shut them out and fought back against the Darkness, immediately bolstered by hope they would help save her and the man she loved. She opened up to her parents and Regina abouteverything that happened in Camelot between her and Killian, except making love in the rooms above Granny's obviously. She still probably shared more than her father wanted to know but he sat on the arm of the chair her mother was sitting in and listened to her explain how the hell she got herself to this point.

"You turned Hook into the Dark One?" Regina exclaimed incredulously.

"It was the only way to save him." Emma was certain that she was being judged. By Regina. The woman who had done much worse than Emma. She knew that her own constant internal struggle with the Darkness had clouded her judgement and forced her actions to take a different path than she would normally take.

"And you didn't think of the consequences to everyone else?"

No, the Darkness within her thought. She quelled the voices and looked at Regina, her eyes surely filled with a rage she had to contain.

"I couldn't just let him die. You can understand that." Regina, of all people, would most understand what Emma had done for love.

"Yes, but now we have a bigger problem," Regina sighed.

Emma explained that she hadn't meant for any of this to happen. She had thought she could deal with it on her own and try to get rid of the Darkness by killing Zelena. Her mother and Regina protested her cold blooded murder plot, refusing to believe that murder was the right course of action. Emma had let the Darkness convince her that the best plan was to isolate herself, not to draw her family into the dark with her.

"But when I did that, there was no one to give me hope," she turned to her mother. "Or tell when I was being stupid," she explained as she turned back to Regina.

"Well you're being stupid! So stop it!" Regina exclaimed. She got up and started pacing behind the couch. "We need to clean up this mess and figure out what the hell is Captain Dark One up to."

 

* * *

 

Killian's prison wasn't made of walls but rather the absence of them. It was darkness as far as he could see, except a small light that hovered just above what he perceived to be his body, almost as if he was in a moonlit cavern. Given that this was all in his head, he theorized that his mind was coping by making him believe he had a physical form to control. The Darkness sought to keep him trapped so that he couldn't break out and take control back and often tortured Killian, channeling its frustrations on Killian's consciousness or simply to take pleasure in making him suffer further for his weakness. Killian could sometimes see what was going on in reality when the demon used its magic on him. It was easier to take control of his body again at those moments when it seemed drained, depleted from the magic to sustain Killian's mental prison and attack him at the same time. He suspected it was almost too easy, that this was just a new way to harm Killian but Killian was no stranger to torture and could endure whatever was thrown his way. Breaking free, he thought of his love for Emma and how much he needed to see her and suddenly he was at Regina's house. Merida was about to shoot Em in the leg. He sent Merida flying through the air and the fall to the floor rendered her unconscious.

"Don't worry, love. A broken knee is nothing on a broken heart. Isn't that right, Swan?"

He thought a moment about what he could say to her now. He'd have to be cruel to her. He knew the only reason the Darkness wouldn't immediately lock him back in his prison was if he let the Darkness influence his words. He needed to cut her deep enough that she would seek help from her family to stop him. He needed her to believe that he wasn't there anymore, which was true except for the briefest snippets of time like this. The Darkness had only let him out to torment him; he knew it. It wanted to break him; to give him hope and then snuff it out.

"What is this? I expected to find you and the heroes huddled over a mountain of books trying to figure out my terrible plan."

"That's not why you're here. You're here because you still have feelings for me." Emma was very perceptive and knew him so well. He had to resist the urge to grab her in his arms and kiss her. He felt his control over himself slipping and the Darkness edging back in.

"Oh, Swan. Of course I still have feelings for you -" he paused for dramatic effect as her face lit up.

"Anger. Hatred. Disappointment." Watching the light leave her eyes was excruciating, but he needed to push her further.

"You don't mean that," Emma protested. Killian knew he didn't truly mean it but he couldn't say that.

"When you tethered me to Excalibur, you opened my eyes. And I now see you for what you really are... an anchor. Ha! And I see clearly now that you were nothing more than a pretty, blond distraction. But guess what, Swan? I am a free man now. And you will never hold me back from getting what I want again."

"Hook.. Killian.. This isn’t truly who you are. Whatever deal you made to get your revenge on Gold, it's not worth it. Fight it." Emma reasoned. "The Darkness is using you. It doesn't care what you want. It only cares what It wants."

Killian knew she could see his struggle on his face. He wanted to be free of the Darkness. He had told her he wasn't strong enough to handle the Darkness and that was still true. He could only hold it off for a few minutes at a time. He was a pawn but she wasn't. She could still survive this if she gave him up.

"Well you're only a pawn if you don't know you're being used. As long as I get what I want, I don't give a damn about the rest. And you of all people should understand that."

"Everything I did, I did for you." Killian knew it was true, even if she had ignored his wishes. Even after everything that had happened, he loved her more than anything, which was why he had to save her. He knew then what he would have to say to push her over the edge. To make her believe he was well and truly lost to the Darkness.

"Well, you see, that's your problem, Swan. You're so afraid of losing the people that you love that you push them away. And that's why you'll always be an orphan. You don't need some villain swooping in to destroy your happiness. You do that quite well all on your own."

"Why are you doing this?" Tears ran down her cheeks. Killian resisted the urge to wipe them away. He must continue with this farce because he only had moments before he lost control.

"Because... I want to hurt you... like you hurt me." He wished that he could have seen another way to get her to this point. He was a dead man on borrowed time. Something he'd been for a long time.

He disappeared from Regina's house and appeared on his ship. Suddenly the pressure on his head became so intense, it took everything not to scream as it all went black again. Killian tried to fight his way out to no avail. He felt like he was watching a movie of himself as he fought Rumplestiltskin and the Darkness let the other man keep Excalibur because it wanted Rumple to think that he had won.

The demon raged when it had gone back to check on the dreamcatchers only to find that Emma had managed, with Henry's help, to steal them and she no doubt knew what the Darkness was planning. It was too bloody late though because the Darkness summoned all the former Dark Ones to Storybrooke using Rumple's blood. It intended to kill Emma's family to make it happen. At some point, Regina found him at the docks and tried to break through to him, but the Darkness attempted to choke her before he managed, briefly, to take control of his hand and stop it. He didn't know how long it had been since he had encountered Regina but he could hear the voices of the Dark Ones whispering to him.

The Darkness, still being a part of Emma, knew that she intended to use Excalibur to destroy herself, taking the Darkness with her. The Darkness tasked him with getting Excalibur back from her and in this one task; it truly had his full cooperation. He wouldn't see her hurt any further than she had already. It didn't take much to get Excalibur from her, but he still wasn't strong enough to overcome the Darkness so not that the sword would do him any good.


	4. Lost to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate leads Emma and Killian to tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this chapter bounces back and forth between Emma and Killian while the second part is clearly delineated by line breaks. Also I modified this again after it was beta'd, so sorry for any errors. I just wanted to get this posted even if it was late.

Despite everything Emma had done to avoid it, every dark deed she had done to change the future, here they were by the lake now, a thick fog was rolling across the pitch black water. Henry, her mom, her dad, Regina, Robin, Gold and several other Storybrooke residents, Emma noted the remaining dwarves among their number, all about to be taken to the Underworld, traded for the twisted souls of previous Dark Ones. Emma hurried to her family and embraced them, wishing to hold onto to every single second they had left. Emma listened as Regina tried to reason with Dark Hook, who stood watching, that he couldn't destroy another family like he had done with his father many years ago. Emma wanted to tell Regina it was hopeless, that Killian had fallen to the Dark One, he wasn’t in control any longer, but she couldn't find the words.

"You have to decide what kind of man you want to be." Regina pleaded.

"It's time," Nimue as she walked toward them, a wicked smile on her lips. A boat with a hooded figure at its helm moved towards shore, ready to collect those who were damned.

 _The bitch seriously should've stayed dead_ , Emma thought venomously. Emma knew she had to do something. She stepped forward to try to stop them but Nimue cast a spell restricting her airway. She couldn't breathe or even move, her own magic being drawn against her. Emma felt a sense of dread as the first vision she had in Camelot began to play out in real life. All of the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. She had truly failed to save them. Her plan to take the Darkness in and use Excalibur to sacrifice herself had failed miserably. Dark Hook had the sword now. She looked at him pleadingly, praying Killian would break free of the Darkness and help her destroy it once and for all. Emma thought that all hope was gone when she felt the strength of the demon within her fade as it directed all its energy to its second host. She could see the expression on Killian’s face change as he fought the Darkness for control, eyes switching quickly back and forth from deepest black to ocean blues. Emma watched the battle play out in front of her as Killian found his strength and fought for his freedom, eyes falling shut as he struggled with the pain the Darkness was inflicting to try to inhibit him. Emma couldn't look away even if she wanted to, bound as she was by Nimue’s spell, and the minute he opened his eyes, Emma knew it was truly him. Her heart soared with hope.

"That's enough," he shouted. Killian had watched Nimue torture Emma and he couldn't bear to see her in pain, couldn't bear to inflict further pain on her family, to see her lose everything because of him. He found a strength he didn't know he had and fought like hell to free himself from the Darkness. Gone was the man who let his insecurities be sourced to manipulate him into being a pawn against the people he loved, a man confident he was strong enough to defeat this plague, a corruption that stalked the realms of men for far too long, stood in his place. Emma made him want to be a better man and he had lost sight of that in a moment of weakness. A weakness the Darkness convinced him he couldn't ever overcome. In the end dredging up one of his greatest sins, the murder of his father, reminded him that he wasn't that same weak man who couldn't find strength in forgiveness and left a poor boy, his own brother, fatherless. His father told him it wasn't too late to change and he had, for love he had finally changed. Killian wanted to see his love and her family safe, at all costs, and now he had to be brave and selfless, truly more the man he wanted to be than he had been in a very long while.

"What do you think you are you doing?" Nimue demanded, incredulous at his defiance.

"Being the man I want to be,” Killian challenged, using his magic to break Nimue’s hold on Emma

"You can't stop us," she laughed, disbelief at his audacity practically oozed from her.

"Yes, I can." Killian raised Excalibur in front of him, using every ounce of strength he possessed to draw Nimue and all the other Dark Ones into the blade. He ignored their screams, the agony felt in the back of his own mind as the Darkness tried to torture him in a last ditch effort to save itself. The sword vibrated in his grip, the evil contained though held only by sheer strength of will as he wove a binding spell on the spirits of the Dark One trapped within.

  
"Killian, you can't do this!" Emma beseeched him, her heart shattering knowing what it was he intended.

"We both know there's no other way, love. We have to hurry. The Darkness won't stay trapped in Excalibur much longer, I don’t have enough power. I cannot do this alone. Take it,” Killian pleaded, strength waning with every second.

"No!" Emma wailed.

"You have to help me, Swan. Take it!" He held the sword out to her. His grip on the sword was slipping, in more ways than one. The spell he was using to contain the demon was sapping his magic and the Darkness was fighting back by making the sword physically heavier each moment that passed. He was ready for his fight to be over, he just had to hold on a little bit longer and held fast, so he continued to struggle to maintain the increasing weight with only one hand.

"I can't. It should be me,” Emma entreated, voice breaking as she stood tall.

"Your family needs you. If anyone deserves to go to the Underworld, it's me. You were right. I was weak. So let me make up for it now by being strong."

"I don't want to lose you," Emma sobbed, tears freely flowing down her cheeks.

"And I don't want to lose you. But you have to let me go. Let me die a hero. That's the man I want you to remember, please, Emma. Please!” Killian appealed, seeing the moment in her eyes when she decided to do as he begged.

Emma reluctantly accepted the sword. It was heavier than she remembered, the Darkness weighing it down in an attempt to escape. She held the sword in one hand and closed the distance between them. She placed her arms around him and kissed him, kissed him with everything she had, trying to pour a lifetime of love into the few moments they had left.

"I love you." She knew she'd never recover from this. From him. Loving him and losing him was going to break her as nothing had or could.

"I love you too." Killian loved her more than anything in his very long life and he truly hoped she would be able to move on without him.

"It's okay." Poor comfort for what he was asking her to do but he knew that this was something she would try to blame herself for. He needed to reassure her that he didn't blame her. He tried to keep a brave demeanor, though, just for a moment, he thought about the fact that he was about to die and he was afraid of what was to come, however he couldn't turn back now. He thought he was prepared but the agony as she ran him through with Excalibur was beyond anything he anticipated. Emma wrapped her arms around him as he faltered. Her sobbing was heart wrenching. He placed his hand on her cheek as he had when they had made love. He cradled her face in his hand, trying to comfort her. Trying to cling to the moment just a bit longer.

He broke free of her embrace, moving to stand in front of her. He wanted to stare into her emerald eyes. They stood, leaning against each other's foreheads and touching their noses to one another's, breathing opposed, one strong and the other fading. Suddenly a blinding white light radiated off of her, engulfing them both. In an instant, she was in her red leather jacket and her blond hair flowed down her back. She pulled back and withdrew Excalibur, the blade disintegrating. He truly felt weak now; he sensed he didn't have much longer, that death was here for him. Killian began to collapse but Emma caught him in loving arms and eased him to the ground. Killian looked her in the eyes, still red and swollen from tears and felt lucky to have had what time he had had with her. He wished for more but he knew it was just too late. _Maybe in another life_ , his final thought before the blackness enveloped him.

 

* * *

 

Emma didn't know how long she had wept, clinging on to his body, refusing to let go. The abominable pain from her vision had been the pain she had inflicted on Killian, not her own. The torment the Darkness had inflicted on them both in a last ditch effort to stop them had been nothing when compared what she felt when, mortality restored to them both, she stabbed Killian with the sword forged of the Holy Grail. It was incomprehensible, indescribable, nearly knocking her over as she struggled under the physical and emotional toll of her actions. Now she yearned to awake from this horror, to find that this was just a nightmare and that she would discover her love was alright.

"Emma," her father's gentle voice said as he placed he hands on Killian's eyes closing them for the final time. "Emma, you have to let them take him."

Emma realized that the paramedics were standing just beyond them with a gurney, waiting for her to move. She couldn't let go. She wouldn't. Still sobbing, Emma sat up, closed her eyes and held her hand above his body. She could feel the preservation spell cloaking his body. Emma clasped onto his hand as the paramedics lifted him into a body bag on the waiting gurney. She felt her mother behind her, supporting Emma as her strength waned, and her mother’s low whisper almost startled her.

"Emma, sweetheart, you have to let go,” her mother's soft voice instructed. Her mother held her in place as the paramedics began to move away.

Emma dropped Killian's hand as the paramedics moved him out of reach and it suddenly felt like the world was closing in on her. Emma knew she would have fallen had her mother's arms not wrapped her in their embrace. She felt her father holding her up as her knees almost gave way. After a few long moments, Emma heard a voice that shook her out of the foggy haze of her mind.

"Mom?" Henry's voice said, breaking a little.

Emma sobered for a moment, wiping her tears away, she turned and gathered her son into her arms. She felt awful she hadn't thought of Henry sooner.

"I'm sorry, kid. You shouldn't have had to watch that,"Emma apologized.

  
"Mom, I loved him too. I never really got to know my father, he was only here for a few weeks. Killian taught me about him and what he was like when he was my age. He became my friend and taught me how to sail, how to navigate and so much more. He was the closest thing to a dad that I've known."

Henry's words broke her heart. The dam of tears that she had been trying to hold back broke. She didn't fight the tears that were freely flowing down her cheeks once more. She felt Regina's hand on her shoulder.

"Henry, you should come home with me for a little while. Emma needs some time to herself," Regina speculated, transitioning Henry into her embrace. Their eyes met in silent understanding. Emma felt guilt at not putting their son first but she knew Henry would be well taken care by his other mother while she grieved.

"Thank you, Regina. Henry, I promise we will talk more soon. Mom, Dad - I just need time. Please don't follow me." Emma thought of their home and closed her eyes, transporting herself there. She had learned a few useful things from the Darkness.

She stood in the entryway and looked around. Her gaze stopped on the kitchen table, her mind recalling a vision she had when she was still the Dark One. So different than the first which had been incoherent and vague, this was nothing but a clear and detailed vision.

_She was sitting at the table in the kitchen as Killian and Henry cooked breakfast. Seven months pregnant, her feet were swollen so they had insisted she sit. Killian was upset she had woken and come downstairs because he had wanted to bring her breakfast in bed. She couldn't sleep long after he left their bed in the mornings. Emma was distracted by a kick from within. She placed her hand on her stomach._

_"Killian, come here!" she demanded._

_He turned and was at her side in an instant._

_"What is it darling wife?" Killian inquired sweetly._

_She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach._

_"Do you feel that?" She asked. Their baby kicked again a few times. Killian's smile at the sensation went from ear to ear._

_"You have a little pirate in you," he growled low into her ear. He faced her and kissed her soundly. "Our son ..."_

_"Killian, how many times must I tell you. My mother used my grandmother's charm and it indicated that our child will be a girl."_

_"Lad or lass doesn't matter to me. Just as long as you both are healthy," Killian smiled sadly at first, joy weighed down by past burdens, before shaking the thoughts from his head._

_"I know, Killian, I know,” Emma said softly, their eyes meeting in understanding. Then louder so Henry could hear, “I have done this before, you know? Modern medical technology here is pretty different from what you may have experienced, old man." She grinned at his frown._

_Henry set the plates of pancakes on the table. He sat watching his parents playful banter._

_"Pancakes are getting cold. Mom, you should eat," Henry said handing her a fork._

_Killian sat down at the table and they all ate their breakfast. Killian and Henry talked about Henry's school work and his weekly swordsmanship lessons. Emma sat silently listening to her husband and son and sighed contentedly. Her True Loves. She felt so much joy in that moment she could barely contain the feeling._

The vision had been one she was sure would come to pass. Or rather hoped would come to pass. Rumplestiltskin, the manifestation of the Darkness, had warned her that she would learn to distinguish what can be from what will be. She had seen so many possibilities of the future but hadn't been able to filter out the clutter from the truth. Emma laid down on the couch in the living room staring at the ceiling. Emma never knew it was possible to cry so much, her vision blurry and unclear, she tried to focus on the good moments they had had together.

Emma twirled his ring in her hand. So many things were impossible now. Their future was no more and Emma had no idea how to move on. He had called her an anchor in their heated conversation which she knew had been a show for the Darkness, but he didn't realize he was her anchor. Without him she felt adrift, drowning in her emotions and the visions she had seen as the Dark One. All she could focus on were the missed opportunities and experiences. Reliving the possibilities of a future that would never come to pass was the worst sort of torture.

 

* * *

 

Killian opened his eyes and looked around his unfamiliar surroundings. He was lying in a large bed in a room with a window seat overlooking the harbor. He had seen this room before, but not in person. It was their house. _How the bloody hell did I get here,_ he thought. He was alone in the bed but the space next to him was still warm. He laid his head on the other pillow, inhaling deep. It smelled of her. Emma was here. What happened at the lake must have been a bad dream because there was no bleeding wound in his abdomen, no scar on his neck. The nightmare faded, forgotten the minute his feet hit the floor. Killian made his way over to a dark mahogany wardrobe, in which he found his small clothes.

His brace was laid out on a chair next to his wardrobe but his hook was nowhere to be found. Perhaps Emma took it as a prank again. He'd ask her where it was as soon as he found her. He looked around the room finding nothing behind the door to her closet or his own so he proceeded into their connected master bathroom.

  
Killian showered, taking several minutes more than usual to savor the luxury of a seemingly endless stream of hot water, and then dressed himself with a practiced efficiency. He could smell coffee brewing downstairs. He exited their bedroom passing stairs leading up to the third floor. The staircase lead to what he had supposed they would use as an office. It had amazing sea views, one of the reasons he had liked this house. He passed three other bedrooms on his way to the stairs leading to the ground floor. He looked around the kitchen and living room but Emma was nowhere to be found. He checked the basement and was almost worried that he still hadn't found her. When he came back into the kitchen he found an empty coffee mug in the kitchen sink. She wouldn't have gone to work without saying goodbye. Maybe she had texted him.

Killian went back to their bedroom to check his phone, still connected to its charger, but found no messages. He looked around the room again. He noticed that she had displayed some pictures on a long white dresser on the far wall. He advanced, curiosity piqued as he picked up one in a small black frame. It was a picture from the farewell party for Elsa, Anna and Kristoff. Killian’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders and she leaned against him. The image caught them both in the middle of a laugh. He set it down and picked up another. Him and Henry at the helm on the Jolly Roger. Another picture of Emma, Henry, her parents, Regina, Robin, Roland and himself at the celebration just before Emma had become the Dark One.

How long ago had that been? He couldn't remember. It felt like ages since that moment.

Killian was struck by a strong desire to find Emma. It occurred to him that Emma might have gone up to the office to stare out over the ocean as she sometimes did when she was upset or stressed. He ascended the stairs and entered a round room. Three large windows each with a window seat let light into the room. It was filled with dark bookshelves and volumes of old books. A large fireplace took up a quarter of the wall space and two leather chairs sat in front of it. It was just the cozy space he imagined that they would spend many occasions curled up in a chair or window seat to read book, talk or simply enjoy the quiet moments life had to offer until age prevented them from being able to climb the stairs any longer.

Killian heard a cry from downstairs. So much for a quiet moment. He rushed down to the room the noise had come from. It was a child crying. Killian opened the door to discover a nursery in what should have been an empty room. A crib in the center of the room, a wooden rocking chair and stool in the corner and several shelves filled with books and toys. The moment he entered the room he found it was devoid of human life. He surveyed the room trying to determine where the sound had come from when a toy on one of the shelves caught his eye.

A ship in a bottle. He walked over to inspect the ship. It was identical to the Jolly Roger. The way it had looked when Ursula summoned it from the Enchanted Forest. The moment he picked it up the events at the lake flooded back into his mind. He had given her the sword and asked her to help him end the Darkness. He placed the bottle back on the shelf and glanced at the crib. How many times had he dreamt of a room such as this where he and Emma would welcome a lad or lass of their own? This wasn't real. He knew it in his heart.

They had never lived in this house together. He had planned it, of course, but things rarely went to plan. Especially in Storybrooke. He had intended to ask her father for his permission to marry her and propose to her when they had returned from Camelot. He'd marry his princess with as much pomp and fanfare as her parents required and they would build a life and family here in this home.

None of that had ever happened, would never happen now. He was dead. Stuck in a reminder of a life not lived. Of maybes and what might have beens. This was his own personal hell and there was no escape.


	5. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to give a brief warning. There is a mention of a miscarriage at the very beginning of this chapter, no details or anything, simply a brief note of such a loss and for any of you who might find that to be unsettling please skip the second paragraph of this chapter.
> 
> Also I am sorry it took longer to post this than I originally advised. I haven't been well the past few weeks and am slowly on the mend.

Emma hadn't moved from the couch. She hadn't eaten, showered or slept. She had immersed her mind deep within the false visions she had had of the future, the visions themselves a remaining, albeit curious, side effect of being the Dark One. In the back of her mind, it occurred to her that she probably retained the Sight because she wielded strong, impressionable magic, that she was still just learning to tap into; magic that could do more than she had begun to even imagine and that probably helped her reclaim the burden a young Seer passed to Rumplestiltskin and the Darkness so long ago.

 

In the forefront of her mind, Emma didn't really care right now how it was possible to still see the “future visions”, she wanted more than anything to keep trying to see Killian in anyway she could for as long as she could. Visions of them making love, waking up together, saying their vows to each other. However it wasn't all happy visions as Emma experienced gut wrenching vision in which Dr. Whale informed her and Killian she had lost their child before they had even known it was there. Emma cried for hours after that, half afraid to go back into the visions because she didn’t know if she could truly control what she was seeing or if it was all a figment of her grief stricken mind, dissolving into madness born of out of control magic.  There were so many visions she had seen but they could have been another deception of the Darkness. After all the Dark One lies, the Dark One tricks. Eventually Emma chose to go back to the comfort she found in the visions, wondering how she could have been so wrong but relishing in the moments she stole in her vision land, even the bittersweet ones.

 

Per her request, no one had interrupted her, though she had cast enough spells to block anyone from entering her home when she was Dark One, spells which still remained in effect. Days had passed before she realized it. She had been lying on her couch nearly three days when she heard whispers in her mind, whispers it should be impossible to hear. The Darkness was destroyed with the sacrifice of her True Love. At first she thought it might be the imaginings of her grief but after paying close attention to what was being said by the voices she never thought to hear again, she knew something was seriously wrong. The whispers of the demon led her to transport herself to Gold's pawn shop. Emma could sense the dagger, the tether of the Darkness in this realm, and a rage bloomed in her.

 

Emma texted _him_ and demanded he meet her at his shop. When he arrived and she asked him about the dagger, he admitted everything with very little prodding. He had his own little villain monologue already prepared too. Gold was the fucking Dark One again! The thought repeated in her head over and over. After everything he had done to save his own life, free his heart from Darkness and to get a second chance at a normal life, he had willingly chosen to save the Darkness, to retur to being bound to It’s evil. And the damnable monster had known Rumple was it’s best bet to survive, and while Emma and Killian thought they were ridding the world of the greatest evil, they were simply giving it a new lease on life. And in the process the Darkness got it’s revenge on the lovers so arrogant that they thought they could actually destroy It. Knowing everything had been for nothing was intolerable. Emma was beyond irate.  
  
"You found a loophole and betrayed us all!" Emma shouted, anger sparking magic at her fingertips.

  
"It's what I do. It's the man I am. I allow the Darkness to live in a perfect symbiotic relationship with me and neither you nor your pirate had any chance of being a true match for It’s power,” Gold proclaimed as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

"Well then, Dark One, now that you have your power back, you're going to do something for me,” Emma commanded, wishing she had the dagger to force his hand to her bidding. Unfortunate as it was, there was another way to get to this particular Dark One and as loathe as she was to take a page from the villain's book, it was the only course that appeared open to her.  


"Why would I do anything for you?" Gold sneered.

 

"Because I still have magic. I am willing to bet I can get to Belle and tell her everything before you can kill me,” Emma smirked, channeling Killian. After all he was the one who once told her Belle was where this monster kept his heart. No matter how much self-hatred Emma experienced for using an innocent person as leverage, the sentiment still held just as much truth now as it did then.

  
"Don't test me," he hissed through gritted teeth.  
  
"Don't test me! You really want to take that chance? That she will, once again, know the kind of man you really are? Do you, Dark One?" Emma challenged angrily, knowing she had his attention.  
  
"What do you want, Miss Swan?" Gold’s demeanor changed, reflecting a business-like attitude so fast Emma would have found alarming if she had not known the Darkness residing within this man.  
  
"You're going to open the portal to the Underworld. I am going to bring him back and you're going to help me and you will not find a loophole out of making sure Killian and I make it back safely to this world,” Emma stood straight, ready for a fight should he start one.  
  
And Gold agreed to her request. Emma decided she really shouldn't be surprised though. Something Nimue had once told her came to mind: Dark Ones never do something without getting something in return. Emma hoped her agreement was more with the man than the beast. Emma really didn't know which she was dealing with when it came to Rumplestiltskin. He had held the Dark One’s curse longer than any single man or woman and Emma hadn’t probed the Darkness for many answers on her predecessors though in hindsight  she realized she should have, if only to know her enemy better. The Darkness was probably arming Gold with all the knowledge and history it had pulled from her and Killian unwillingly and, often times, very painfully.

  
A tiny, nagging voice within her wished she could figure out a way to stop him, stop the Darkness for good. Rumpelstiltskin was the one to blame for the majority of the pain that affected so many she cared about. The curse that brought everyone to this world had been his plan and with the thought, for a brief, brief moment she mourned a life she never lived but quickly relegated those thoughts to the back of her mind because she couldn't regret that this life had given her Henry or Killian. And whether or not she liked it, as much as she wanted revenge against him, Gold was Henry's grandfather and perhaps given his history with the Darkness she figured he might be the best chance of managing it. If she had learned anything from her time as Dark One, all magic came with a price. The light and dark couldn’t exist without the other. As much as she might want to destroy It, the price she had already paid was too steep. It felt like in order to fight the battles she did, to be able stop something from destroying innocent people, the price would always be a steep one. Maybe Saviors just didn't get happy endings, maybe that would always be the price of who she was. _No!_

 

 _Happy endings aren't always what you expect that they will be._  
  
She could hear her mother's words to her from just before the residents of Storybrooke had been sent back to the Enchanted Forest to avoid Pan’s curse echo in her mind. Emma's journey had taught her that. She certainly never expected to love Captain Hook. Killian Jones. Every thought brought her mind back to him. Emma could feel the tears flowing as she had relived their last moments on an endless, tortuous repeat.  
  
_"Don't do that to yourself, love. When my brother died, I kept reliving those last terrible moments."_  
  
Now his voice echoed in her head and she remembered the comfort he had given when she had thought her mother dead. Fate had brought together two lonely hearts together, overcoming time and different realms. She definitely hadn't expected to fall in love with a man who had survived centuries against all odds only for that man, in a sick twist of fate, to end up dead less than three years after she met him. She knew in her heart they weren't supposed to end up losing each other so many times, that this couldn't be the end. Her parents’ love lead them to always find other and Emma knew in her heart she and Killian shared the same love. And come hell or high water, their love would overcome anything. She had lost him too many times and she'd be damned if she was going to let Gold get away with tarnishing Killian's sacrifice. The Darkness had survived but Emma sure as hell wasn’t going to let It win.  
  
Emma pulled out her phone and sent her mother a message, her plan forming as she did.  
  
**Mom, can you have everyone meet at the loft? I need to talk to you. - Emma** ****  
****  
**Sure, honey. Anything. What time? - Mom** ****  
****  
**In 30 minutes. - Emma**  
  
  
As Emma climbed the steps to her family's loft thirty minutes later, she felt nervous and unsure how to face everyone. The last time she had seen her family she had pushed them away because she was overwhelmed with her grief. Wrecked by losing Killian. If Emma was honest with herself, she had known from when they had first met in the Enchanted Forest that they had a connection. A connection that had scared the hell out of her, prompting her to chain him up and run like wind. She hadn't been able to pinpoint or fully process what it meant at that time. She had been too closed off to love. When she started to let love into her heart, she began to understand herself better but admitting to herself why she had been so terrified to fully commit, to love without restraint, had taken Regina using the dagger to force her to it, letting the Darkness see her fear. Loving Killian completely meant giving him the power to cause her the worst pain possible but she trusted and loved him enough to be willing to open herself to the potential for the greatest love she would ever know.  
  
When she had been forced to let him go and to kill him herself, the pain she had feared became real. She had lost a part of herself when he died, the last few days were proof of that. She was a listless as a ship in the doldrums. Emma smiled briefly because she knew Killian would have loved her use of a nautical metaphor as he had spent countless hours trying to teach her about sailing and the terms associated. Now that she had a way to get him back, she had felt such a desperate need to save him and nothing was going to stop her. She was going to march into the Underworld and rescue her True Love. Now, she just had to tell her family.  
  
Emma slipped her key into the lock and opened the door quietly, not certain what to expect on the other side. She was immediately met by her mother. Mary Margaret gathered her into her arms and held her there. Emma returned the embrace, glad for her mother's love.  
  
"Hey Mom," Emma said looking about the room. Henry, Regina and Robin were at the counter drinking cocoa and chatting with her father.  
  
"Emma, you said you wanted to talk to us?" Concern caused the pitch of her mother’s voice to be higher than normal.  
  
"Yeah, Mom. I just found out that Gold is the Dark One again." She simply blurted it out without much thought.  
  
"What the hell?!" Regina turned and was paying close attention now.  
  
Emma walked to the counter and grabbed the cup her mother had set out for her. She took a sip, then sighed.  
  
"Yes, he tricked us. He used residual magic to channel all the Darkness into himself. Fortunately, now that he is the Dark One again I have a way to get to Killian," Emma revealed.  
  
"You're going to hell?" Her mother questioned incredulously.  
  
"The Underworld, actually. I'm going to get him back. It's not fair to Killian,” Emma declared, pushing thoughts of selfish reasoning aside.

  
"But you just overcame the darkness,” David countered, the growing concern on her father's face evident.  
  
"Emma, you can't give into darkness again," Mary Margaret said, fear blossoming in her features.

  
"I'm not, I'm giving into love." Emma paused, not certain how the next part of her plan would go over with her parents. "You two share a heart, so will we." Emma watched her parents as shock washed over them.  
  
"Emma, are you certain? It might not work," her mother tried to reason.  
  
"I love him and he loves me. I have faith that True Love will be enough." Emma stared at her parents for a long moment almost daring them to counter her. "You would go through hell if it was dad, wouldn't you, mom? Regina, if it was Robin?"  
  
"I suppose it could work," Regina conceded.  
  
"It will work." Emma could feel the seed of hope root deeper in her soul. Quiet descended over the loft for many minutes as everyone absorbed the plan.  
  
"I'm sorry, but how does one get to the Underworld?" Robin's inquiry broke the silence.  
  
"Gold will open the portal at the lake and summon the Ferryman. From there one travels to the Gates of the Underworld. Because we are still living and not taking the place of any other souls, we will be sent to a sort of purgatory. A place where those with unfinished business reside until they come to terms with their lives, their unfinished business if you will, but most do not and thus remain in purgatory." Emma hoped she explained it correctly. She hadn't been listening very well when Gold explained how exactly this crazy plan would work mostly because she had spent that time trying to convince herself not to kill the Dark One.  
  
"Well, we are coming with you," Mary Margaret stated as if it was already decided.  
  
"No! Mom, what about Neal? You can't just leave him here alone. This is dangerous." Emma was grateful for the support but she didn't want anyone else to be hurt because of her. What had happened to Killian was unbearable and if anything happened to anyone else she loved because of her, she'd never forgive herself.  
  
"The fairies can take care of Neal for a few days over at the nunnery. I know it will be okay." Her mother gathered up the used mugs and began washing the dishes, like the discussion was a run of the mill thing one talked about.  
  
"You can't talk us out of helping you, Emma. We will find him because that is what we do in this family." Her father encircled her in his strong arms and held her tightly. His words were comforting, as was his embrace. Emma was happy that her parents finally accepted Killian as part of their complicated family unit.  
  
Emma felt like she might cry again. Family meant having unconditional love and support and they would not let her face this journey alone. Their love meant a lot but Emma felt incomplete without Killian and she had faith that she could succeed in finding and saving him. Heaven help those that stood in her way.  


* * *

  
Killian was awoke with a start, as if waking from a bad dream. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. He was in the library of their house, reading glasses and a thick book on the table beside him and a blanket covering him, indicating Emma had set aside his reading materials and tucked the blanket over him rather than wake him. Killian’s thoughts were blurred, leaving him uncertain how he'd ended up there in the first place. His memories seemed as though they were covered with a dense fog and the harder he tried hard to remember how he had ended up curled in a chair with a book, the more elusive the answer felt.  
  
The light sounds of laughter cut through the lingering fog. Emma and Henry's laughter. Another that was completely unfamiliar. Killian rose from the chair, forgetting his confusion as his feet hit the floor. He folded the blanket, draping it over the back of the chair before placing a page marker in his book and leaving the room. Killian made his way down the stairs, stopping in their bedroom, finding it deserted. Dimming sunlight shone through the windows and illuminated the room as day faded to night. An object on the dresser highlighted by the rays caught his attention. Various photos of himself, Emma and Henry adorned the surface. He picked up one, a new and unfamiliar picture, straining his mind to recall it but try as he might, he simply couldn't remember when it was taken. The confusion from before crept back into his mind. The photograph appeared as though it had been taken at Granny's and there was a sign that said "Happy Birthday, Liam" hanging in the background. Henry had his arm around a young boy that looked no older than eight or nine years old. Killian recognized the boy: it was his half brother, Liam. They had adopted his brother. Emma standing next to the boys and was leaning against him in the photo and holding a small bundle wrapped in a light pink blanket. They had a daughter?  
  
Killian stared at the picture, his confusion growing. _How don't I remember any of this? How could I forget my family? What is the last thing I remember?_ He panicked, combing his mind for some detail that would lend clarity to the current situation. He found none. Hearing the laughter again, Killian decided to go downstairs, the place from which the laughter seemed to be emanating. When he descended the stairs to the ground level and found it empty, an odd sense of deja vu hit him.  
  
An overwhelming feeling of loss plagued him for what had seemed like such a wonderful dream.  
  
"Was this all simply a dream?" he wondered out loud.  
  
"Of a sort," an unseen voice countered.  
  
"Who the bloody hell is that? What the devil is going on?"  
  
"Funny you should ask." A man suddenly appeared in front of him. The man was the same height as Killian was with dark brown hair, black eyes and as dressed in an immaculate black suit and red tie. "Name's Hades, God of the Underworld. Welcome."  
  
"The Underworld? I'm dead?" Killian thought about how long he had been here, how he had gotten here and forced himself to look deep into his mind. The last thing that came to mind was lying on cold, damp ground as he watched Emma sobbing. Suddenly, it hit him full force as all the memories rushed in at once. Killian fell to his knees, hearing a pained, strangled sob and he realized belatedly that he was the one who had made the terrible noise. He remember asking Emma to kill him and he remembered the first time he had awoken in this strange place. Killian could recall a half dozen other occasions of waking up in this house to phantoms that provided a glimpse of a life he  never got to live. None of it was real. He was dead and apparently the God of the Underworld had it out for him for some reason. _Fuck._

  
"Yes, I've been waiting a long time for you, Killian Jones. A higher power sought to hide you here in this place out of a misguided belief I wouldn't find you. You’ve spent the last several days here, with only the mildest of mental anguish each time you woke to find the life alluded to was not actually the life you had lived. I actually couldn’t find you at first you had been hidden so well but nothing in the Underworld can hide from me for long and your soul is mine now. I have concocted the perfect eternity for you. I would say you'll enjoy it, but I'd be lying." Hades smirked at him, a terrible glint in his eyes.  
  
"This isn't my punishment?" Killian was afraid he had even asked. Such a stupid fucking question.  
  
"For centuries, you have avoided death but you sent plenty of other souls here in your place. And in an instant your fate was changed and you ended up here in my domain at long last. I’m certain you expected to be greeted fire and brimstone, so I’m sorry if the welcome wasn't up to par. Fire and brimstone is just a fraction of what awaits you, Captain Hook. This subterfuge, this interference,” Hades gestured around the living room in which they stood in, “on the part of another god who tried to save your soul from me simply gave you a brief respite but now the fun really begins.”

  
Killian felt Hades' sinister laughter reverberate savagely through his entire soul. Killian could only speculate as to why another God had sought to hide him, what he had done to earn such a favor from someone completely unbeknownst who had subverted the God of this very realm to do so. True, he had done a great many things he wasn't proud of, stains on his soul that could never wash off, however to be on the radar of a deity, to receive what for all intents and purposes looked like special treatment from any deity, especially the one in front of him, did not bode well. Very little frightened Captain Killian "Hook" Jones, but as he could not quite determine why he was a “distinguished guest” of the God of Death, Killian had to admit he would have to be certifiably insane not to be wary of the literal hell he was sure to face now.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are on tumblr, come find me at KateAlexandra26.tumblr.com. I always love to chat, fangirl or otherwise obsess over my favorite OTP.


End file.
